When a dear and very old friend decided to celebrate his 40th birthday in the Caribbean paradise that is The Bahamas, I had a decision to make: do I throw caution (and cost) to the wind and head to Heathrow for a weekend at SLS Baha Mar, or do I simply send him a nice card? Well, I’m not big on cards and I love an adventure, so the decision was easy. Life is for living after all, and 7,014 kilometres seems like a reasonable length to go to for a party. (My wife may have something to say about that.)
The extravaganza weekend was happening at the SLS in the Nassau super resort, Baha Mar – a developed piece of beachside land that had a myriad of financial issues before being rescued by a Chinese firm in 2015 and finally opened to the public in 2017. It consists of three hotels (the Rosewood and Grand Hyatt being the other two), and access is fluid between various beaches, pools, and restaurants. The SLS is one of the key hotels and the second of the three to open, the Grand Hyatt crossing the line first.
As a very diligent traveller, I felt it was only sensible to take a deeper look at the hotel to see why this friend had encouraged us to fly thousands of miles to celebrate there. What makes it worthy of a gathering of 30 Brits and Americans?
Well, first impressions are, as ever, key in all experiences, and the general Baha Mar aesthetic is giving me 90s Vegas. High-rise, man-made, spacious, and painted entirely pink. It’s not shouting ‘subtlety’ at me, but it is saying ‘fun’ rather clearly. It also has a TARDIS-like quality where, from the outside, it presents as a conventional high-rise hotel, but what one finds inside is a rabbit warren of restaurants, shops, casino, bars and even an arcade. It blends into the other hotels around it so you can easily find that you have in fact, wandered into the Grand Hyatt unintentionally. At its core is its raucous, glaring, beating heart – the casino. Now, being a rather pious Brit unaccustomed to the slot machine, blackjack and roulette world, I found it all rather exciting and often completely confounding. At one point, a group of 10 Americans seemed to go head-to-head on some kind of digital slot machine, which consisted of slapping the screen as much as possible in a given time whilst also banging a single button equally ferociously. At the end, someone had won. What they had won I’m not entirely sure, but they all seemed to have had a good time.
The huge advantage of this trip was that my friend’s incomparable wife had organised every inch of the weekend – someone of impeccable organisational skills and oodles of patience. As a reviewer it served as the perfect whistle-stop tour – she had made a conscious effort to eat at various different restaurants, enjoy more than one bar, sit by the beach, sit by the pool and sample the nightlife in all its guises. Either way, I knew by the end of the five days I would have covered this place pretty thoroughly. I’d employ her if she wasn’t already contracted by the American Government.
For our first dinner, we dined in Carna; a steak restaurant with a formidable and extravagant list of steaks – out-Wagyu-ed only by its stratospheric prices. I’ve spent time in Dubai, London, New York and Paris and I have never seen prices like I did at this restaurant and in fact, this hotel. It’s hard for any food to live up to it, but I’d say this place did a really good job of it. Great wine, great steak and even better company. So far, so good.
Dinner number two was sushi at Katsuya; here we had a set menu and a lavish private room which was atmospheric and, not to be basic, really, really cool. The food was contemporary Japanese, mixing up sushi and sashimi with moreish fried chicken. All washed down with beers and wine. Delicious.
Dinner three was Mexican at Costa (this was part of the Rosewood). Thankfully for me, I love a good taco, a zesty guac or a cheesy quesadilla, and here I enjoyed all three. The full face of Crispy Whole Red Snapper that came next was a little much for my sensitive millennial eyes, but it tasted great, if it wasn’t for the already bulging stomach I was hefting around. What comes with Mexican food are Margaritas, and this was a place that didn’t hold back in keeping them coming
The final dinner was at Marcus Fish & Chop House, which is actually part of Grand Hyatt resort and not the SLS, but that’s the charm of this resort – you have so many options to choose from. Marcus’s is more about Bahamian culture than the other restaurants here, encouraging the local dish ‘conch’ upon the international visitors as well as serving up home comforts too. Its location is enviably on the beachfront with the crystal azure waters within touching distance. Much delicious food was enjoyed (try not to fill yourself up on Chef Marcus Samuelsson’s unbelievable cornbread before even the starters arrive) and many cocktails were imbibed. I’m glad this was saved until last, as it has the most dramatic setting of all the restaurants.
The post-dinner treat that delighted us every evening was at Jon Batiste’s Jazz Club that sat at the centre of the main ground floor hub – a place that was less about the venue and more about the acts. The level of quality was unprecedented – if Bruno Mars or Beyoncé were passing by they may have felt too intimidated to take over the mic. We drank, we danced.
Now, of course, these were just the evening’s antics; the daytimes were equally well planned and also gave further opportunity to explore the hotel and its facilities. Most days were spent by the Bungalow Pool Bar & Grill, which is a smart and adult-centric area at the centre of the hotel, surrounded by palm trees. We spent most days floating in the pool shallows with a spicy margarita in hand – it’s tough but someone’s got to do it.
25 Degrees North is another Beachfront Restaurant but this time within Baha Bay Beach Club by the sea, allowing for an easy pool dip whilst enjoying views of the pale blue Caribbean Sea – we worked our way through their Miraval Rosé reserves on a sunny Friday afternoon.
To truly celebrate our friend, it had to be the Privilege Baha Mar – an adults-only, Ibiza-style pool party complete with private cabanas for hire, bottles of your favourite branded booze and a wide array of guests donning their favourite bikinis, Speedos, party hats and fancy dress. It was raucous, boozy, loud and (as a newbie to the classic pool party) a whole bucket of fun.
The final thing to mention, which I touched on at the start, is that after all these wonderful experiences (great food, pools, beach, bars, music, party) people gather in the final meeting spot – the casino. Here was a chance to play together: some winning, some losing, some just watching – but saliently it was a place for us all to gather and enjoy a little gentle competition. Whilst I tried feebly to learn the rules of blackjack and the etiquette of ‘playing it by the book’, I was constantly offered cocktails on the house and advice from passing college students keen to spend their parents’ money. Thankfully, I’m wise enough not to risk my own and instead benefited from the free drinks in a place where the GDP of a small country is needed to survive. (I was gifted a few dollars from a friend and actually came away with $350, which I promptly changed into money and took back to my room to stop me losing it!)
My main takeaway from my time at SLS Baha Mar (aside from my modest winnings) is that if you want to maximise the time you have with an old friend and make up for years apart, you need a breadth of opportunities and experiences to enjoy. But pertinently, you need them all to be in one place – you don’t want to be trekking around. I felt in the short time I was with him in the bold and bountiful SLS, I managed to drink, eat, dance, visit bars, beaches, pools, play games, take walks and finally get in a boat out onto the vast sea. It felt so full (in a good way) that my social battery was charged to bursting by the end of it. I felt like I could go ten years without a recharge if I had to (but I’d rather get back to the Caribbean for a few more Spicy Margaritas and maybe a quick roll of the dice).
Baha Mar, it’s been a pleasure.
To discover more, visit SLS Baha Mar.
View this post on Instagram
Imagery courtesy of SLS Baha Mar.